Hey, Look What I Found!

It was sometime in the early 1990's that I heard about the internet, and decided that I had to find out more. I had a computer, a 386 laptop with 2 Megabytes of RAM. Hey, it was the early 90's and this was top of the line technology. But I needed to connect. This required "more hardware". A geek at work suggested I get a "copulating modulator". I knew better though, and told him that my 386 already had one of them.

I didn’t even know of the existence of the Big Three, AOL, CompuServe, or Prodigy, however, Delphi was running all kinds of promotions, and the introductory offer really appealed to me. It was free.

After much trial and tribulation, I finally got the modem to work, and actually hooked into Delphi at a whopping 9600 baud. It was downright archaic, but I didn’t know any better, and I thought that I was the new age Christopher Columbus discovering the next frontier..

Delphi’s claim to fame was their internet access, rated far superior to their competition. At that time, Delphi was 100% text based, and the World Wide Web was in its infancy. But the internet provided access to all kinds of information, quite a bit of it located on University gateways and servers. And the way to get to the information was through some old school programs like Gopher, Archie, and Veronica. These were the first search engines of the Internet, and I don’t even know if they exist anymore. AltaVista, Infoseek, Lycos, Excite, and a lot of other search engines have revolutionized navigation functionality for web surfers.

What I found most interesting in my new world was the Delphi Community itself, which basically consisted of Online Chat, Online games, and Custom Forums. In actuality, the World Wide Web, as we know it today, did not exist.. I began participating in the political and humor forums.  For political discussion, The Bully Pulpit became my favorite, and for humor, there was World Wide Wits End.  It was on the Bully Pulpit that I met my first CyberNut - Dipsey Dumpster. We began butting heads immediately. He was (and still is) a liberal, commie, pinko, weenie, bleeding heart, and I was just the opposite. Rush Limbaugh was subject of discussions, and I was a Meanspirited Conservative Republican, aka, "Ditto Head".

But Dipsey preferred to call me a “Dildo Head”. HA HA HA! Dildo Head!!!  Get it?

Well, the internet had delivered the impossible, a liberal with a sense of humor. Hey, not that liberals aren’t funny, as most of the time they are hysterical, however, they just don’t know it. I guess it's the nature of the beast. Liberals, like French Poodles, Belgian Waffles, and women, are inherently stupid. It was about then that I realized the awesome power of this new TechnoCyberMedium.

Guttenberg's 15th Century printing press was the greatest invention known to man. Until now. The internet has taken the written word, and combined it with global communication, multi-media and the collaborative efforts of all of mankind. And just about every man, woman and child, regardless of race, age or physical limitation can participate.

The Web became the rage, and the text based Delphi became yesterday’s news. Off to AOL I went, then to an Internet Service Provider, and now I have access through the ISP as well as work. I lost touch with the DumpMeister for a couple of years. During that time, one of the Delphi Forums, World Wide Wits End pretty much died, but resurected on the Web. I thought that Dips would be interested in participating, so I started looking for him. He left Delphi, and I started looking through my databases, and found his snail mail address, and wrote him. He had joined AOL, and I invited him to post over on WWWE. It took him only a short time to aggravate everybody, and his opinions on god and atheism really initiated a wonderful pissing contest. But, seems like too many folks got offended and pissed off, and Dips quit posting. 

Anyway, I extended an offer to Dipsey to publish his stuff on my web page. He had one question when I extended the offer. "Can I say fuck?", he asked. So, that’s some history, and you will find some of the DumpMeister's prose on my site.

Therefore, I have created the

Dipsey Dumpster Page

aka

Keith Taylor

"the proverbial old fart, with a liberal leaning and dysfunctional grasp of reality "