"Talent, Online, from Gawwwwd"
I am six foot five inches of tempered steel and sex appeal, weigh 235 pounds, and have the body that would be the envy of any Greek Adonis.
Yep, that's me.
I am a self made millionaire, and for fun I enjoy piloting my LearJet, vintage World War I biplane, and I enjoy sailing my fleet of yachts and sailboats in the Caribbean and Mediterranean.
I am an active philanthropist, and enjoy giving my money away to good causes. If you have any suggestions, drop me an email, and I will send the money directly to you for disbursement to your favorite charities.
Proudest Literary Accomplishments
In 1997 I won the Nobel and Pulitzer Prizes for my in-depth study of interpersonal relationships, specifically marriage. To review this hard hitting, factual analysis, check out the award winning thesis, Wedded Bliss.
In 1998 I won the International Travelers Award for Best Never Published Piece, Conventions, Airports, Taxis and Bribes.
But my biggest accomplishment was working with Vinton Cerf, who has gotten all of the credit for inventing the Internet. That is until Algore claimed to have invented the internet. Anyway, both of them stole every idea about inventing the Internet from yours truly. Yep, that's right, I am the one responsible for inventing the Internet. For the real history of the Internet, check out "Hey, Look What I Found!"
Also, if I wasn’t an habitual liar, I would be perfect.
Themes of this Site
This site is broken down into the following categories:
 | Humor Page - Just what it says. These are articles, posts, and other rantings of a humorous nature. |
| Political Commentary - As America's Bullshit Detector, representing truth, justice, and the American way, it is my duty to inform the ignorant masses. |
| Ramblings - Some nostalgic, some serious, and some to make you think. |
| The Dipsey Dumpster Page - This is the page of my arch nemesis, Dipsey Dumpster. |
Most Recent Additions:
Kids of the 60's -They don't make kids like they used to (June 2006)
Election 2004 John Kerry is one phony bastard
60 Minutes and Dan Rather find evidence of JFK and Marilyn Monroe relationship (September 2004)
Slots are coming to Pennsylvania Taxes will go down and education will benefit. And pigs are gonna fly out of my ass. (July 25, 2004)
My last Community Adviser Column (August 2001) - Mr. Married Person Expert gives advice on how to be the King of the Castle
My Fourth Community Adviser Column in the Delaware County Daily Times (June 7, 2001) - The King of Ridley provides fashion analysis for teenagers.
My Third Community Adviser Column in the Delaware County Daily Times (March 27, 2001) - The readers write, and I respond.
My Second Community Advisor Column in the Delaware County Daily Times (January 25, 2001) - Election Closure and Barroom Banter
The information on this site is copyrighted, trademarked and patented. I have gone
to great lengths and spent numerous hours stealing the information that you see here, so
if you steal it, you have lowered yourself to my level, and should consider a life in
politics.
